W salam.

First of all, thank you for confiding in me regarding this important matter and I will try my best to give you advice which is, inshallah, according to Islamic teaching and its values, asking Allah to help you put it into practice, amen.

Marriage is a very important decision in the life on any person and is a life time job. Only Allah decides who marries whom and no one can necessarily marry any one they like except when Allah wants them to do so, i.e. everything that happens, happens from Him and we must realise that there must be something good for us and for our future in whatever happens, even if we are not able to grasp the reason or wisdom behind it.

Therefore, one has to give proper consideration and time to whom they are going to marry and with the proper way/channel, otherwise a 'small' mistake (because of a young age, etc) can make the whole life of a person miserable, and I have seen plenty of such cases (in most cases, sisters are the real losers as the guy walks away losing 'nothing').

Your parents have raised you, loved you and cared for you for the last 20 years and still do. They wanted you to be educated and gave you every support and they are expecting you to 'pay back' in the form of respecting them and their honour and dignity in society.

Now, I think, it is the duty of the child, especially when she is a girl, to protect her own honour and dignity by doing things through the proper channel by informing them in time about any important decision - especially one that involves the whole family (or families).

It is not to say that parents must always give preference to their own choice and not to that of the children, but however, parents have a fundamental right to know who their daughter meets and talks to and so on, and for a daughter to do all these, in my opinion, is a disloyalty to her parents.

You are still young and attractive so if a 'boy' takes interest in you, regardless of the fact if he is religious or not (which I doubt he is, as what kind of piety is this to talk to a non-mahram girl and meet her?), this is not something peculiar or unusual, but rather normal and you should be able to tell him or any other boy in future that if they want to take the matter any further, send his parents to your home and let the elders decide.

You are still studying so try to concentrate on that and don't be emotional. Believe you me, I have sisters coming to me crying and begging to be married to boys who have deceived them and now don't even want to know about them. Please do not get me wrong, I am not at all saying anything about this particular boy, however, I am yet to know why sisters are so quick to be impressed and want to rush into things and make decisions based on emotions rather than rationality.

Also remember that by living in the West, one must not forget their great Eastern or rather Islamic values of Hayaa and decency and respecting parents, so even if we live in the West, we shall not be westernised in this sense. Even many westerners acknowledge the beauty, simplicity and blessing of arranged marriages and in my experience, they are the most successful ones, alhamdulillah.

Finally, I am ready to offer any kind of help in this regard inshallah, Allah hafiz and may He protect you and all of us.